


Insecurities

by Tillyalf427



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Everyone loves Tachibana Makoto, First Dates, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Group chat, Insecure Tachibana Makoto, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:14:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23544460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tillyalf427/pseuds/Tillyalf427
Summary: Haru caught the brunet looking in the mirror for what must have been the hundredth time that day, disgust filling green eyes, and he finally decided enough was enough.They had all seen it, the way Makoto would glance in the mirror when he thought no-one was looking his eyes turning stormy as they focused on one spot in particular.
Relationships: Tachibana Makoto/Yamazaki Sousuke
Comments: 8
Kudos: 95





	Insecurities

**Author's Note:**

> *demonic chanting along to that edited one direction song* you're insecure...You're Insecure...YoU're InSecure...YOu'rE iNseCurE...  
> But anyway-  
> This is an old work which I've only just managed to force myself to finish haha...  
> I think it's from June/July last year so uhhh...  
> I can't remember the exact vibe I wanted this to have so I don't think this is how I planned it to end or anything but there's not a lot I can do because I didn't plan properly which makes me stoopid.  
> Anyway, I hope people enjoy this whilst I desperately try and work on some new stuff to post :)
> 
> EDIT 11/8/2020: A FEW PEOPLE HAVE HAD TROUBLE WITH NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE THE PICTURES SO I'VE TRIED TO REDO THEM BY UPLOADING THEM ONTO PINTEREST FIRST, HOPEFULLY THIS WORKS BUT IF IT DOESN'T PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I'LL TRY AND THINK UP ANOTHER WAY OF FIXING IT

Haru caught the brunet looking in the mirror for what must have been the hundredth time that day, disgust filling green eyes, and he finally decided enough was enough.

Growing up, Makoto had always been insecure. He had always been aware that he was taller and broader than all his friends and this only increased as time went on. His habit of hiding behind Haru when he was scared had always made him feel smaller and helped him believe that maybe he wasn't as abnormal as he originally thought, although many found it ridiculous. He never fully grew out of it, even to this day finding himself hiding behind his best friend when he was scared and anxious and he guessed it had become a sort of coping mechanism. Something about it helped to make him feel like maybe his shoulders weren't ridiculously wide and maybe he wasn't freakishly tall and so he never questioned it. Although Makoto never voiced his insecurities, his friends and teammates all knew. They had all seen it, the way Makoto would glance in the mirror when he thought no-one was looking his eyes turning stormy as they focused on one spot in particular. And yet all the things he hated about himself, he couldn't find it within him to hate on anyone else. Other people with similar body types always seemed to have the right proportions to make them look good whereas whenever he looked in the mirror, all he saw was strange proportions and things that didn't fit right. Over time he'd sort of grown accustomed to hating his own body, trying to avoid thinking about it and therefor avoiding fixing the problem.

And now here he was, sneaking a quick glance in the mirror. Again. After making sure that none of his teammates were around, he glanced towards the reflective surface, his eyes immediately drawing towards the one thing he hated the most about his body. His shoulders.

Of course, he couldn't hide from his teammates' knowing gazes as Nagisa bounded back into the changing rooms with a loud shout.

"Mako-chan!" He paused for a moment upon noticing Makoto's look of surprise before tutting quietly. "Mako-chan, you're perfect, don't be so hard on yourself,"

The blond took Makoto's hand and pulled him along behind him, calling over his shoulder

"Let's start practice to take your mind off it,"

As practice started, Makoto could feel the concerned looks being sent his way from his teammates however, he tried to ignore them and soon found that everyone became distracted with swimming and so the looks disappeared.

That was until they were all in the changing rooms again after practice. Makoto stood, a towel wrapped around his neck catching the drips that fell off his hair. He noticed that Rei had conveniently positioned himself to block the brunet's view and bit the inside of his cheek when he thought of how he was inconveniencing his friends

"...akoto...Makoto?" Nagisa's voice interrupted his thoughts and he saw the blond waving his hand in front of his eyes.

"Hm?"

"You alright?"

A small nod of his head received him another concerned look however, Nagisa said nothing about it, continuing what he was saying. Makoto found himself tuning out slightly again before his attention turned to Haru when the dark-haired male asked if he was ready to go. With a hum, he said goodbye to Nagisa and Rei and the two of them began walking home in comfortable silence.

When they went their separate ways, Haru found himself wondering about his best friend. Makoto had seemed to be acting strange that day and although he could guess why, he couldn't think of how to help.

With a sigh, he closed the door behind him, hearing the loud, irritating noise from his phone which Makoto had insisted he leave turned on. Picking up the device, he unlocked it, somewhat surprised that he remembered the password for it and saw multiple messages from Nagisa, the hyperactive blond sending messages faster than he could read the last ones

_Well, that was never a good sign._

Whilst he waited for another reply from Nagisa, he moved to the bathroom to run a bath, hearing the buzzing of his phone over the running water. He saw another notification on the screen saying that he had been added to a group chat, opening the notification with a quiet sigh.

Locking his phone again, he sunk into the bath, another small sigh escaping his lips. 

He really hoped this worked...

Over the next few days, They began planning different ways of getting Makoto and Sousuke alone together and soon enough, Monday rolled around, bringing with it a joint practice at Samezuka. As both teams gathered in the changing rooms, their plan was put into action. Nagisa managed to distract Makoto, his loud voice helping to disguise the strange ways in which the others were acting as Haru quickly hid Makoto's goggles, conveniently making it seem like he misplaced them.

Once Nagisa noticed that Haru had done, he glanced around the room, seeing that everyone apart from Sousuke was ready and taking his chance.

"Last one to the pool has to do 50 laps!" He cheered, running out to where the pool was with Rei calling after him about running near the pool.

Makoto giggled and turned back to grab his goggles, frowning when he noticed he couldn't find them. A quick look around gave him no hints however, with no one to distract him, he now noticed the long mirror across from him, his eyes involuntarily focussing on his flaws as usual. He hadn't noticed that Sousuke was still in the room until he heard the taller male clear his throat and ask.

"Are you alright, Tachibana?"

The dark-haired male had noticed Makoto focussing on something in the mirror however, he couldn't see quite what it was, however, he could clearly see the troubled expression on the brunets face.

Makoto seemed to jump back slightly spinning around to face Sousuke with a startled expression.

"Yes! I'm fine! I'm absolutely fine...haha," He laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You sure?"

Again, Makoto laughed stiffly with a nod.

"Yeah...I just...lost my goggles...I could have sworn I put them..." He trailed off as Sousuke reached past him, grabbing something and holding it out to him.

"You mean these?" The dark-haired male gave a lopsided smile and Makoto found himself blushing slightly.

"Ah, uh yeah...thanks,"

"No problem, we should get going, we're already late," 

As Sousuke began leaving the changing rooms, Makoto watched him go before quickly jogging to catch up with him, mentally scolding himself for running near a pool.

Much to his surprise, Neither Rin or Gou said anything about them being late and practice got underway as normal.

Later that night, the group chat came alive once more as Nagisa reflected on what they had overheard earlier that day when Sousuke and Makoto had talked.

Rin sighed and locked his phone, gaining the attention of his roommate who looked over at him from where he sat on his bunk.

"Everything alright?" Sousuke asked and Rin let out another sigh before channelling his limited acting skills.

"Yeah...hey you didn't notice anything weird about Makoto today, did you? I'm worried about him..."

His anxious grimace must have been believable as Sousuke frowned slightly before answering.

"He seemed to be focussed on something but I'm not sure what. Why, is something wrong?"

"Hmm...Don't tell him I told you but Makoto's always been insecure, it's been worse recently so I just want to know he's alright,"

Sousuke nodded, his curiosity getting the better of him as he stated

"I don't see what he's got to be insecure about really,"

A loud laugh from Rin confused him as the redhead calmed his laughter and spoke, genuine sadness hidden in his voice.

"Neither do the rest of us...maybe you should tell him that, we've all tried already and he doesn't believe us,"

It was quiet for a moment before Sousuke replied quietly

"I could try..."

With that, Rin tried to hide his grin as he unlocked his phone, pulling up the group chat Nagisa had made.

The next week rushed past and before they knew it, another joint practice had rolled around. 

After their discussion the other day, Rin had continued hinting about Makoto's insecurities to Sousuke and the taller male had decided to confront Makoto about it as Rin had suggested. That left them with only one thing left to do, ensure Makoto and Sousuke were left alone again. 

This time, Makoto and Sousuke conveniently ended up being the last ones to finish getting changed and so, everyone else filed out of the room, leaving them alone.

"Tachibana," Sousuke called out, deciding to act upon Rin's words from the other night. When Makoto's attention turned away from where it was focussed on his reflection to look at him in confusion, he continued "So uh...I was talking to Rin the other day and he mentioned..something. Just please don't be mad at him, I kept asking more about it so you should be annoyed with me if anyone,"

Makoto nodded and took a seat, presuming that this may go on a while.

"What is it that makes you insecure?"

Makoto seemed taken aback, confusion clear on his face as he stuttered out

"W..what..?"

Sousuke rested his head in his hand, rubbing at his temples in frustration.

"Sorry, that was the wrong thing to ask. I...want to help, if I can? But...ugh, I don't even know what I'm saying," Sousuke rambled on, earning a weak smile from Makoto

"Honestly, people need to stop worrying about me so much, I'm fine,"

"Have you never thought about why they're worried about you? You might not notice how bad it's become because you're used to living this way but from an outside perspective...Even I noticed _something_ was wrong last week when you were practically glaring holes into the mirror,"

"I can deal with this. I always have. I'm used to it by now," Makoto replied, refusing to make eye contact with the taller male.

Sousuke frowned upon hearing this, looking down at his hands before which were clenched together before adding;

"You don't have to deal with this alone," His voice was quiet, barely audible even in the silent room "You're a great person and because of that, people _want_ to help you out,"

"But other people can't fix this for me, in that way I do have to deal with this alone," Makoto spoke after a moment, noticing his hands beginning to shake the way they often did when he was anxious.

"Let us support you though, that's all I'm asking," Sousuke gave a lopsided smile and Makoto's resolve was close to crumbling at the sight, eyes welling up with tears that he struggled to hold back, turning away from the dark-haired male, not wanting to see him break down.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't drag you into my problems..."The brunet spoke quietly, surprised when Sousuke's arms moved to wrap around him, pulling his close so that his head rested on Sousuke's shoulder.

"You always take care of everyone else but you need to take care of yourself first. That's all your friends want, for you to be happy and to be comfortable as you are," The dark-haired male spoke sincerely, shocking Makoto based on the few interactions he's had with Sousuke in which he never saw this side of his personality "Because they all love you as you are,"

Makoto's breath caught in his throat upon hearing this, letting out a quiet sob, head still buried in Sousuke's shoulder.

"Hey," Sousuke spoke again, grabbing Makoto's attention as he pulled away, wiping roughly at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I want to get to know you more, do you wanna go somewhere when you're free?"

Makoto seemed surprised, staring at Sousuke wide-eyed, as if waiting for him to say he was joking only it never came.

"You're serious?" The brunet asked, unable to comprehend why on earthnSousukewould want to spend time with him of all people.

"Of course I am," Sousuke gave a smile "How about after practice we go somewhere to eat?"

Makoto stumbled over his words as he agreed, stuttering out a quiet

"Y..yea..h,"

"Come on, we should probably get to practice before Rin comes to yell at us," Sousuke joked, gaining a small smile from Makoto at the joke as he nodded, standing to follow Sousuke out of the changing rooms.

Over the next few weeks, Sousuke continued to invite Makoto out with him, gradually getting to know the Iwatobi swimmer despite Rin's almost constant teasing and he had found that he really enjoyed Makoto's company. On top of that, they had all noticed a positive change in Makoto. Often times whenever Makoto would even think of glancing in the mirror, Sousuke would manage to distract him before he got too lost in his thoughts. It made Sousuke infinitely glad that he had finally plucked up the courage to talk to the brunet, with a small nudge from Rin obviously.

Overall, things seemed to be going well, if you ignored the constant threats from Haru saying about 'if he hurt Makoto he would be dead'.

Another joint practice had come to an end and Sousuke had invited Makoto to go and see a new movie that had come out recently and so, after showering and dressing, the two said their goodbyes to the rest of their teams, before heading to the train station, getting the train into the town centre and walking around aimlessly until it was nearly time for the movie to start. They entered the cinema, paying for their tickets and heading into the cinema as the adverts began playing.

Quiet murmurs and conversation filled the cinema as various advertisements played before quietening down upon seeing that the movie was about to begin.

The two finished up their conversation, their attention turning towards the screen as the movie as it began, a comfortable silence settling between them, both content to just enjoy each other's presence.

It was around halfway through the movie that Sousuke felt Makoto's head coming to rest on his shoulder, a soft smile pulling at his lips.

The dark-haired male let an identical smile grace his face, attention turning back to the movie but feeling the warmth seep through his shoulder, quickly spreading throughout the rest of his body, leaving a warm tingling sensation beneath his skin.

If only Makoto could see how much he was loved...

By the end of the movie, Sousuke had gotten so comfortable with the weight resting on his shoulder that he felt a chill run down his spine as Makoto sat up,the two leaving the cinema together and walking leisurely around town.

The urge to tell Makoto how he felt began creeping uponSousuke once more, much like it had been doing for the past month or so only, this time he wasn't sure whether he would be able to hold it back, his brain willing himself to speak.

"Makoto," He called out, stopping where he stood as Makoto turned to him with a confused smile "I want to tell you something..." Sousuke began, mentally kicking himself at how lame that sounded "That sounded stupid..." Makoto's smile was reassuring and he was urged on by newfound confidence. "I...Spending time with you over the past few weeks...It's been great...And it's made me realise that I really like you..." It was an awkward mess of a confession but at least it was out in the open now "At first I thought I just wanted to help out but something changed I guess..."He chuckled slightly, looking to the side to avoid Makoto's burning gaze.

"Sousuke..." It was unusual for the dark-haired male to speak so freely about his feelings and Makoto found he needed a moment to process it "I...I like you to...I just...I don't want to drag you down because I'm so...messed up..."

"Makoto, you know that's not true, you're not messed up," Sousuke protested, already sensing Makoto's apology before it came.

"Sorry...I just..."

"Makoto, I wouldn't have said it if I didn't want to 'deal with' that part of you. It's still you," The dark-haired male reached down to take Makoto's hand in his own, "I still want to help you learn to love yourself and I want to be more, if you'll let me...?"

Makoto looked at him blankly for a moment as if processing what he said before he practically stumbled forwards, arms coming to wrap tightly around Sousuke's neck, the dark-haired male reciprocating the hug by raising his arms to wrap around Makoto's back.

"Should I take that as a yes...?" Sousuke asked, a small grin forming on hisface, already knowing the answer.

"Yes...You idiot..." 

"I'm your idiot though," Sousuke grinned and Makoto pulled away slightly with a small smile "We should get going, I gotta get you back before sunset or Nanase will make my life hell,"

"He's really not that bad," Makoto smiled, agreeing nonetheless

"You say that but he genuinely told me that,"

"Damnit Haru..."

Although there were times that Makoto still struggled to see past the things he didn't like about himself, it was easier now to be able to sink into Sousuke's arms, like a shield against his own negative thoughts. Sousuke took every possible opportunity to compliment Makoto and had so far managed to avoid Haru's wrath, mainly because it was clear to see how relieved he was to see Makoto happy instead of constantly knocking himself down.

Although Sousuke knew he couldn't make Makoto's insecurities disappear, he liked to think that he at least helped and Makoto, he was doing better than ever. When he wasn't focussed on what he saw as flaws, his times increased tenfold

It was after a joint practice one night when Nagisa pulled up the group chat again, the keys clicking as he typed out his message.


End file.
